Having Courage & Trusting the Lord

According to the dictionary, courage is

1. The ability to do something that frightens one.

2. Strength in the face of pain or grief. 

Courage over the past couple months has been...

• Proceeding with faith even when I'm scared.
• Staring at an image on screen and thinking, This is not me. You will not beat me.
• Hearing the word "Cancer" again, and after a short pause asking, "Can you fit me in today?"
• Peace and comfort, when everything around me seemed to be happening so fast.
• Allowing myself a moment in the shower to cry where no one can see.
• Accepting service from others in my families time of need.
• Sitting in the breezeway instead of the waiting room at the Cancer center because I know I shouldn't be there.
• Having my children shave my head.
• Missing my kids activities to protect myself while fighting cancer.
• Showing up to chemo appointments, wanting to be anywhere else.
• Eating when I want to do anything but eat.
• Fighting for my life because my family needs me and I love them more then anything! 
• Praying because the only person who knows exactly how I feel is at the other end listening.

"You don't ever realize how strong you are, until being strong is all that you have left." 

"Being brave doesn't mean that I'm not affraid."
"Brave is just acting in faith."
"When we know we don't want to face it but we have no other option. We just have to push forward."