Mom Humor

These made me laught today so thought I'd share.

Half Way Done

Meet my new friend and constant companion.

I've always kept this friend close by just in case I needed him and today I needed him twice before chemo treatment even started. Oh dear!! Not because of nausea but the smells associated with it. So thats the negative side but like anything in life where there's a negative there's also a positive. I did feel so much better when I was done! Until it started again a couple minutes later. :) As your taste buds start to go south because of the metal taste in your mouth your sense of smell tends to take over and become much stronger. So smells can instantly set off my nausea. 

So... overall, today has been my hardest chemo treatment, but I'm halfway done and start a new chemo next time. I'm supposed to feel less nausea with that one but there are some interesting side effects with it. Basically, my nurse told me that there will be three nurses watching me for the first 15 minutes of the drug and if I make it past 15 minutes without incident I'm good. Hmmm...that sounds promising. 

I did notice a cute cancer patient walk in behind me today with a grass green jacket on that was so cute! I told her how I loved her jacket and she said thankyou but you can't have it. I told her I did notice we have the same hair stylist though and we all laughed. I will need some of that laughter this next week. So here's some funnies for today and strength and courage for the coming week.

Having Courage & Trusting the Lord

According to the dictionary, courage is

1. The ability to do something that frightens one.

2. Strength in the face of pain or grief. 

Courage over the past couple months has been...

• Proceeding with faith even when I'm scared.
• Staring at an image on screen and thinking, This is not me. You will not beat me.
• Hearing the word "Cancer" again, and after a short pause asking, "Can you fit me in today?"
• Peace and comfort, when everything around me seemed to be happening so fast.
• Allowing myself a moment in the shower to cry where no one can see.
• Accepting service from others in my families time of need.
• Sitting in the breezeway instead of the waiting room at the Cancer center because I know I shouldn't be there.
• Having my children shave my head.
• Missing my kids activities to protect myself while fighting cancer.
• Showing up to chemo appointments, wanting to be anywhere else.
• Eating when I want to do anything but eat.
• Fighting for my life because my family needs me and I love them more then anything! 
• Praying because the only person who knows exactly how I feel is at the other end listening.

"You don't ever realize how strong you are, until being strong is all that you have left." 

"Being brave doesn't mean that I'm not affraid."
"Brave is just acting in faith."
"When we know we don't want to face it but we have no other option. We just have to push forward."

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

Perspective

I'm so glad I remembered this. Needed to see this today.

This video was made at Seattle Childrens Hospital where we spent many days with our son Dallin when he was younger. This was recorded in the hematology department there. Helps keep things in perspective when I think I'm having a bad day. Grateful to the many nurses who choose to serve others in their hardest moments. Needed a little pep song like this today. Cancer doesn't have the best of me. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

One Day At A Time

I know people are wondering how I am after my third round of chemo but it's hard for me to get on and blog days after treatment because it makes me sick. So this will be short. I am doing better then expected. I was told I would get sicker and sicker with each treatment and that has not been the case for me. I have different things that bother me each time. I'm not constantly nauseous but different smells is usually what sets it off. Headaches come and go daily. The metal taste is my mouth usually ruins most foods. Everything tastes good for the first couple bites but that's about as far as I get.

This time, what gets me the most, is how yucky I feel inside. I just feel full of poison and I can't get rid of that yucky feeling. I can't breath it out, shower it out, walk it out or any of the other ideas that come to mind. It's my constant companion and I REALLY dislike it!! One more round of the bad chemo then I hope I feel different with the next four rounds. I'm almost half way. One day at a time:)

Sisters Ala Carte Round 2

The beauty that lies in service one to another.

Love these ladies! So grateful for these meals the day before third round of Chemo begins. 

Trying to keep my mind off of what is happening tomorrow.

Needed something funny and this worked.

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings "Consider the Lilies"

This is my dads favorite song. Thought it was fitting for this weekend and posted it here for him.

Happy Easter Everyone!

I Choose to Believe

I have so many thoughts and feelings going into this weekend. Excitement for Kiersten's birthday and baptism, Easter, General Conference and the witnessing of miracles in my life. When I first started this blog, I stated how We Believe in Miracles at our house. I asked that when people prayed, if you could pray for three things: Miracles of Peace, Strength and Healing. I can honestly tell you that I've seen and felt these miracles in my life over the past several weeks. I'm a little emotional writing this, so just bare with me. Hopefully it'll all make sense in the end.

Twice a year, once in the spring and the other in the fall, my church has something called General Conference. It's where the Prophet and Apostles of the church (like prophets and apostles in the scriptures), speak to us about topics that they've prayed and fasted about on what Heavenly Father wants us to hear. We gather as families and watch this by Satelite either at our church buildings or in our homes on the BYU channel. The talks are wonderful and today one talk in particular rang true to me given by L. Whitney Clayton, entitled "Choose to Believe." I'm sharing part of this because I feel like it's because of many people's beliefs in Jesus Christ that I am witnessing these miracles in my life. And what a perfect weekend to remember the Savior.

L. Whitney Clayton explained how our rescue can be found in the light (referring to the Savior, the light of the world), through our own journeys. That it starts with our willingness or desire to believe. He explained, that it's an action, "for him that seeketh findeth." It's an invitation from our Father in Heaven, he doesn't force us to believe. Belief is something we choose. We work for it, hope for it and we sacrifice for it. Believing in him brings peace. It's a choice and I choose to Believe. As do so many of my family and friends and because of our belief in the Savior, I have felt peace through my journey thus far.

Because of our beliefs and the sacrifice of others, I have also received much strength. It's much easier to focus on taking it easy and getting better when I know my family and home is being taken care of by so many helping hands. I have to share something funny. I realize I look like a cancer patient and feel like cancer patient but I refuse to sit in the waiting room at the cancer center with the other patients. I feel like that's not where I'm supposed to be. It's kind of somber and sad in that waiting room and honestly, I start to feel sick sitting there. So I wait out in the breezeway for my appointments because I feel like... No, I'm here to kick this thing. I don't have time or want to be sad,
let's get this over with and move on! I know that that strength comes from all of you and my Savior's guiding hand in my life.

Now I'll share my third miracle that not even the doctor knows yet. I have noticed my body healing over this past week, immensely. When I had my first round of chemo, I came home that night and had a weird sensation on the right side of my body, where the more aggressive cancer lies. I told my doctor that I felt like the bad guys (chemo) were fighting the other bad guys (cancer cells) and somebody was winning. I felt lots of sharp little pains all over the right side of my chest, so I knew something was happening. But when I went to my next appointment I couldn't feel any difference in the tumor size and neither could the doctors. Second round of chemo, I honestly haven't felt any battles going on but I have noticed a reduction in the size of my tumor on the right side and it's only been a week. WhooHoo!! That will give me more incentive to go to chemo this next week. Honestly, the thought of it makes me sick but then I remember 2 down 6 to go. I'm a quarter of the way done, just keep going!

I just wanted to share some good news on this beautiful Easter weekend. I know that Jesus Christ lives and because of my faith and those in my communities faith and belief in him, that miracles happen. We have seen miracles before and we'll see them again. I see them everyday in the beauty that resides outside my window. I'm grateful for the knowledge I have that Jesus Christ lives. He is my Savior and Redeemer and because of him and like him, I will be resurrected and live again someday. I Choose to Believe!

Kiersten's 8th Birthday

Kiersten is 8 years old today. I can't believe I'm old enough to have one graduating and my last one getting baptized. My sisters mother--in-law offered to take some pictures of her the other day in her dress at the temple and they turned out so nice even though the wind was blowing pretty good.

She loved the flowers.

CTR - Choose The Right 

I made this dress for Rachael when she got baptized and all the girls have worn it. It was made with the material from my temple dress when I got married.

Kiersten loves babies! So we decided to dress up her doll in her blessing dress from Kiersten's baby blessing to take a picture with her. This is Kiersten's favorite picture!

Love this girl and grateful that she's decided to get baptized as Jesus did.

Service

I love doing service for others but there's nothing more humbling 

than when service is provided to me.

We've had several helpers show up during Spring Break and help out around our house.

Love the youth in this area and their leaders! It was pouring rain last Wednesday and they still showed up and worked for 2 hours in my house and yard. They were drenched.

They even added wood to our wood pile.

Others have come and added beautiful grasses and flowers to my front garden.

What a beautiful place to look at through my window this beautiful Easter weekend.

Thank you to all who serve my family in so many ways. The talents of so many, big and small have been so appreciated. Love You All!