I have so many thoughts and feelings going into this weekend. Excitement for Kiersten's birthday and baptism, Easter, General Conference and the witnessing of miracles in my life. When I first started this blog, I stated how We Believe in Miracles at our house. I asked that when people prayed, if you could pray for three things: Miracles of Peace, Strength and Healing. I can honestly tell you that I've seen and felt these miracles in my life over the past several weeks. I'm a little emotional writing this, so just bare with me. Hopefully it'll all make sense in the end.
Twice a year, once in the spring and the other in the fall, my church has something called General Conference. It's where the Prophet and Apostles of the church (like prophets and apostles in the scriptures), speak to us about topics that they've prayed and fasted about on what Heavenly Father wants us to hear. We gather as families and watch this by Satelite either at our church buildings or in our homes on the BYU channel. The talks are wonderful and today one talk in particular rang true to me given by L. Whitney Clayton, entitled "Choose to Believe." I'm sharing part of this because I feel like it's because of many people's beliefs in Jesus Christ that I am witnessing these miracles in my life. And what a perfect weekend to remember the Savior.
L. Whitney Clayton explained how our rescue can be found in the light (referring to the Savior, the light of the world), through our own journeys. That it starts with our willingness or desire to believe. He explained, that it's an action, "for him that seeketh findeth." It's an invitation from our Father in Heaven, he doesn't force us to believe. Belief is something we choose. We work for it, hope for it and we sacrifice for it. Believing in him brings peace. It's a choice and I choose to Believe. As do so many of my family and friends and because of our belief in the Savior, I have felt peace through my journey thus far.
Because of our beliefs and the sacrifice of others, I have also received much strength. It's much easier to focus on taking it easy and getting better when I know my family and home is being taken care of by so many helping hands. I have to share something funny. I realize I look like a cancer patient and feel like cancer patient but I refuse to sit in the waiting room at the cancer center with the other patients. I feel like that's not where I'm supposed to be. It's kind of somber and sad in that waiting room and honestly, I start to feel sick sitting there. So I wait out in the breezeway for my appointments because I feel like... No, I'm here to kick this thing. I don't have time or want to be sad,
let's get this over with and move on! I know that that strength comes from all of you and my Savior's guiding hand in my life.
Now I'll share my third miracle that not even the doctor knows yet. I have noticed my body healing over this past week, immensely. When I had my first round of chemo, I came home that night and had a weird sensation on the right side of my body, where the more aggressive cancer lies. I told my doctor that I felt like the bad guys (chemo) were fighting the other bad guys (cancer cells) and somebody was winning. I felt lots of sharp little pains all over the right side of my chest, so I knew something was happening. But when I went to my next appointment I couldn't feel any difference in the tumor size and neither could the doctors. Second round of chemo, I honestly haven't felt any battles going on but I have noticed a reduction in the size of my tumor on the right side and it's only been a week. WhooHoo!! That will give me more incentive to go to chemo this next week. Honestly, the thought of it makes me sick but then I remember 2 down 6 to go. I'm a quarter of the way done, just keep going!
I just wanted to share some good news on this beautiful Easter weekend. I know that Jesus Christ lives and because of my faith and those in my communities faith and belief in him, that miracles happen. We have seen miracles before and we'll see them again. I see them everyday in the beauty that resides outside my window. I'm grateful for the knowledge I have that Jesus Christ lives. He is my Savior and Redeemer and because of him and like him, I will be resurrected and live again someday. I Choose to Believe!
